people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
