Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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