it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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