Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
