bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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