i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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