i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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