we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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