Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
