So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
