Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
