Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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