If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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