I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
How external is "for external use only"?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
