I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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