i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
