so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
