I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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