All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
