she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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