is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
