How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
