come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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