Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
why do cheetos always look like penises
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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