I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
