I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
