I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize
