How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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