That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Couch. On fire.
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