College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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