I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
