When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
