is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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