omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
