problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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