what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
