I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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