I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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