I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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