So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
