I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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