But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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