whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The Olympian is in my bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
