my sisters under your porch take her home
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
