you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
