Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I CAN MOONWALK!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
