just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
