Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
You pole danced in your parka.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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