Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
i've created a new STD.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
