I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
