Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Randomize
