I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
