who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
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